Reposted from Craigslist:
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Friday, October 31, 2008
Happy Halloween
Formalities out of the way - 219 this mornin (ok 218.6 but who's counting)
Probably not the most accurate number to use since ive spent the last 3 days finishing the bulk of the hardwood floors in my house (yeah bryce i know, a project we started, what, 3 years ago?) lol
the floors do look awesome if i do say so myself, and yes, i do say so myself.
Corporate has approved the x-fer, now just waiting for the Director of Sales for WA to find me a spot(95% it'll be the 1st week of January-here's keeping my fingers crossed)
Sooksa is doing super, awesome, fantastic, spectacular, outstanding in school and absolutely loving it.
more to come..
-D
Probably not the most accurate number to use since ive spent the last 3 days finishing the bulk of the hardwood floors in my house (yeah bryce i know, a project we started, what, 3 years ago?) lol
the floors do look awesome if i do say so myself, and yes, i do say so myself.
Corporate has approved the x-fer, now just waiting for the Director of Sales for WA to find me a spot(95% it'll be the 1st week of January-here's keeping my fingers crossed)
Sooksa is doing super, awesome, fantastic, spectacular, outstanding in school and absolutely loving it.
more to come..
-D
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
I love the number two
my weight? Two, to, too point tu (as in tu madre) lol
Its been an interesting quarter, to be sure. Ive gone from free wheeling, irresponsible 40 something, to a single dad, father to the sweetest kindest everything -est you'd ever want to meet. And the wheels are in motion to improve my living/work environment as well. Lets hope UPS steps up and does the right thing.
and lets thank god for the fat challenge. not only does carrying around 35 less pounds have a positive effect on my day to day operations, but i'm in much better physical shape and mental state(lol ok thats a stretch) for job interviewing, weekend construction and the daily runnings of a single parent. The "finishing" of the kitchen as been a godsend too. Now that I may need to rent my house, if i didnt have the kitchen close to completion, that would just be another HUGE stress point in my life, but because of the fat challenge not only am i on schedule, but i will be done way ahead of the end of the year, out of necessity. Since after the kitchen i need to remodel the bathroom before i can even thing about renting the house. so now there is a bigger picture timetable, and the fat challenge has only been a help.
the 3rd part of the challenge, blogging has been great too, its made it so i could help avery blog(altho she hasnt updated since she returned from England, but shes been a bit busy so i think we'll let her slide on that one) and i've even figured out how to embed video, see scary alaskan chick below :P
So 222.2 is good, but i still have that spare tire around my belly, so obviously i need to go lower, and its hard cause mentally i'm in maintence mode still, which is the wrong frame of mind for weight loss, but from 256 to 222 in 8 months is something i'll look back on in 10 years and be pretty proud of i'm sure. Almost as proud as I am of my amazing child(ok not even close to being that proud :P)
-Saw
Its been an interesting quarter, to be sure. Ive gone from free wheeling, irresponsible 40 something, to a single dad, father to the sweetest kindest everything -est you'd ever want to meet. And the wheels are in motion to improve my living/work environment as well. Lets hope UPS steps up and does the right thing.
and lets thank god for the fat challenge. not only does carrying around 35 less pounds have a positive effect on my day to day operations, but i'm in much better physical shape and mental state(lol ok thats a stretch) for job interviewing, weekend construction and the daily runnings of a single parent. The "finishing" of the kitchen as been a godsend too. Now that I may need to rent my house, if i didnt have the kitchen close to completion, that would just be another HUGE stress point in my life, but because of the fat challenge not only am i on schedule, but i will be done way ahead of the end of the year, out of necessity. Since after the kitchen i need to remodel the bathroom before i can even thing about renting the house. so now there is a bigger picture timetable, and the fat challenge has only been a help.
the 3rd part of the challenge, blogging has been great too, its made it so i could help avery blog(altho she hasnt updated since she returned from England, but shes been a bit busy so i think we'll let her slide on that one) and i've even figured out how to embed video, see scary alaskan chick below :P
So 222.2 is good, but i still have that spare tire around my belly, so obviously i need to go lower, and its hard cause mentally i'm in maintence mode still, which is the wrong frame of mind for weight loss, but from 256 to 222 in 8 months is something i'll look back on in 10 years and be pretty proud of i'm sure. Almost as proud as I am of my amazing child(ok not even close to being that proud :P)
-Saw
Friday, September 26, 2008
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8__aXxXPVc
One good 72 year old heartbeat away from being the President.
Scary as hell.
One good 72 year old heartbeat away from being the President.
Scary as hell.
Friday, August 29, 2008
2/3rds of the year bye bye
End of August
222.2
i'm too sexy for my fat jeans
I gotta say tho, i think maintanence mode is a pitfall. As ive watched poor Bryces' weight ping pong from 162 to 168 and back to 162 in 3 weeks, i went from 222 to 226.4 and back to 222 in 5 days. Yes thats right, 5 days. Now B-kid says its because i was dehydrated over the weekend and my body was holding on to water weight. but I think it may be something a bit more sinister. My body knows i took a breath and said "whew" i made my goal of 225. it plants that seed of complacency that is the root of what caused us all to gain weight over the last few years and get to the point where we needed the fat challenge. "I dont need to do that little bit of exercise tonight since i'm already at my target weight" I know that challenge is right there for me to try and keep my honest, cause since i hit 225, i went on a cruise and ate like i was from Central Africa and had never seen a full plate of food before. now had i gone on the cruise at 5 pounds over my target, i'm sure i would have eaten a LOT less and prolly got the same amount of exercise which would have led to weight loss. So the fat challenge was great, losing weight is awesome, but as we are all finding out, keeping it off is the true Challenge.
Hang in there my brothers and sisters. Thin = Win
-D
222.2
i'm too sexy for my fat jeans
I gotta say tho, i think maintanence mode is a pitfall. As ive watched poor Bryces' weight ping pong from 162 to 168 and back to 162 in 3 weeks, i went from 222 to 226.4 and back to 222 in 5 days. Yes thats right, 5 days. Now B-kid says its because i was dehydrated over the weekend and my body was holding on to water weight. but I think it may be something a bit more sinister. My body knows i took a breath and said "whew" i made my goal of 225. it plants that seed of complacency that is the root of what caused us all to gain weight over the last few years and get to the point where we needed the fat challenge. "I dont need to do that little bit of exercise tonight since i'm already at my target weight" I know that challenge is right there for me to try and keep my honest, cause since i hit 225, i went on a cruise and ate like i was from Central Africa and had never seen a full plate of food before. now had i gone on the cruise at 5 pounds over my target, i'm sure i would have eaten a LOT less and prolly got the same amount of exercise which would have led to weight loss. So the fat challenge was great, losing weight is awesome, but as we are all finding out, keeping it off is the true Challenge.
Hang in there my brothers and sisters. Thin = Win
-D
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Mate'nence
Yup, Maintenance is here ive broken the 225 barrier.
224.8 this morning.
I'd blog about the cruise, but you already know all about it (just google "athleticism and nerd" and click the 1st link)
Crappy thing is i still am not happy with my weight, i look down and still see the paunch, so i'm gonna try and do another 10 lbs and see if 215 is any better. Hell all i gotta do is keep walkin 12,000 steps a day (average over the last 5 weeks) and it shouldnt be a problem
Last Day of the month, rack up some more points for me :)
Monday, June 30, 2008
2nd Quarter - Done
Rack up the points baby, Its been a great Q2, 2008.
Clocking in at a slim 231 lbs this morning, 5 pounds lost this month. Bought a Polar AW200 pedometer cause the battery in the last one i had sucked. Am making sure i walk at least 8000 steps every day and the weight has been shedding off. only 6 more pounds and i will be in maintenence mode. With a 2 week vacation coming up in July and a week of that on a cruise ship, 3lbs is gonna be a struggle, but lets hope :)
Avery is back from England and will be living with me full time from now on, so needless to say, Life is freakin' Awesome atm :)
as far as the 2nd quarter kitchen update: My goal for the 2nd quarter and i quote :
Sink Installed(including all the plumbing)
Dish Washer Installed
Countertops milled and back from the shop
Done, Done and Done!!
The countertops are installed( i had granite slabs installed cause it was rediculously cheap, and am using the honed stone as the backsplash) and to be honest, it looks amazing. the Sink and dishwasher are installed and functioning and even better than that, No Leaks!! The cabinets are all installed but need to still be trimmed out.
Slated for the 3rd Quarter is:
Install all the cabinet hardware and trim.
Paint(primarily the ceiling)
Update the lighting fixtures
Install GFI plugs
Finish the Fridge Surround
Actually thats all that is left on the kitchen, so if i can get that all done before October i'll be completely done, so a target of half of thoes items should suffice for the contest, but i would love to be done early :)
the the the thats all folks,
-D
Clocking in at a slim 231 lbs this morning, 5 pounds lost this month. Bought a Polar AW200 pedometer cause the battery in the last one i had sucked. Am making sure i walk at least 8000 steps every day and the weight has been shedding off. only 6 more pounds and i will be in maintenence mode. With a 2 week vacation coming up in July and a week of that on a cruise ship, 3lbs is gonna be a struggle, but lets hope :)
Avery is back from England and will be living with me full time from now on, so needless to say, Life is freakin' Awesome atm :)
as far as the 2nd quarter kitchen update: My goal for the 2nd quarter and i quote :
Sink Installed(including all the plumbing)
Dish Washer Installed
Countertops milled and back from the shop
Done, Done and Done!!
The countertops are installed( i had granite slabs installed cause it was rediculously cheap, and am using the honed stone as the backsplash) and to be honest, it looks amazing. the Sink and dishwasher are installed and functioning and even better than that, No Leaks!! The cabinets are all installed but need to still be trimmed out.
Slated for the 3rd Quarter is:
Install all the cabinet hardware and trim.
Paint(primarily the ceiling)
Update the lighting fixtures
Install GFI plugs
Finish the Fridge Surround
Actually thats all that is left on the kitchen, so if i can get that all done before October i'll be completely done, so a target of half of thoes items should suffice for the contest, but i would love to be done early :)
the the the thats all folks,
-D
Monday, June 16, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
5th Month in the books
236, chalk up another one.
Made my goal with a pound to spare, so yes it was a good month. Good that i made my weight goal, but also even better that i was able to get granite countertops installed in my kitchen. After looking at the cost of tile vs the granite slab it was a wash. One of the nice hidden benefits of the housing crisis, is no one is doing remodels, for the most part. So the demand for building materials is low, and when no work is being done, you can usually get labor cheaper too, which worked out great for me.
Gonna be a short post for me today as I'm getting ready to send Avery off to England, so bloggin aint a real high priority atm.
her blog fyi:
http://sooksa.blogspot.com
-D
Made my goal with a pound to spare, so yes it was a good month. Good that i made my weight goal, but also even better that i was able to get granite countertops installed in my kitchen. After looking at the cost of tile vs the granite slab it was a wash. One of the nice hidden benefits of the housing crisis, is no one is doing remodels, for the most part. So the demand for building materials is low, and when no work is being done, you can usually get labor cheaper too, which worked out great for me.
Gonna be a short post for me today as I'm getting ready to send Avery off to England, so bloggin aint a real high priority atm.
her blog fyi:
http://sooksa.blogspot.com
-D
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Phat, Dumb and Happy
well 2 outta 3 aint bad :P
Welp its the end of the month again and time to report my weight again. drumroll please...
239. Holy crapola Doug, can that be right? Yup, Down 7 lbs from last month. Why? you might ask? just read the post just under this one, A pedometer and 7000 steps a day(yeah i know i said 6000 but where's the fun if you dont have a stretch goal). Ive been doin at least 7k steps every day and i can already feel the difference, and hence the 7 lb loss. So the weather getting nicer and my fat ass, getting smaller, its another great month in the books.
Now weight loss/gain has never been that much of an issue, ive always been able to lose weight, and then 6 months later put it all on again(and then some). Thats why i'm partaking in the fat challenge, cause i gotta keep this weight off. Now, to be honest, my "actual" weight right now is probably closer to 236 because i actually weighed myself after breakfast AND lunch, but thats beside the point, or hell maybe that is the point :P
Now i dont know if this is considered cheating, but ive basically been skipping a meal a day and substituting a Protein Shake. Now this comes from one of my local accounts here called Nutrition 53. Its a company owned by ex-NFL'er Bill Romanowski. they make a product called LEAN ONE and you mix 2 scoops of protien powder with water(which is a normal mix for most protein shakes) but the difference with their product is, it tastes like chocolate milk, without any milk at all. Yes thats right, the shake actually tastes like a shake, its freakin awesome and 200 calories vs 800 for a meal is a win in my book, and i have, well ok i don't have anymore, the ass to prove it :)
-D
Welp its the end of the month again and time to report my weight again. drumroll please...
239. Holy crapola Doug, can that be right? Yup, Down 7 lbs from last month. Why? you might ask? just read the post just under this one, A pedometer and 7000 steps a day(yeah i know i said 6000 but where's the fun if you dont have a stretch goal). Ive been doin at least 7k steps every day and i can already feel the difference, and hence the 7 lb loss. So the weather getting nicer and my fat ass, getting smaller, its another great month in the books.
Now weight loss/gain has never been that much of an issue, ive always been able to lose weight, and then 6 months later put it all on again(and then some). Thats why i'm partaking in the fat challenge, cause i gotta keep this weight off. Now, to be honest, my "actual" weight right now is probably closer to 236 because i actually weighed myself after breakfast AND lunch, but thats beside the point, or hell maybe that is the point :P
Now i dont know if this is considered cheating, but ive basically been skipping a meal a day and substituting a Protein Shake. Now this comes from one of my local accounts here called Nutrition 53. Its a company owned by ex-NFL'er Bill Romanowski. they make a product called LEAN ONE and you mix 2 scoops of protien powder with water(which is a normal mix for most protein shakes) but the difference with their product is, it tastes like chocolate milk, without any milk at all. Yes thats right, the shake actually tastes like a shake, its freakin awesome and 200 calories vs 800 for a meal is a win in my book, and i have, well ok i don't have anymore, the ass to prove it :)
-D
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